If you’re trying to be liked by everyone, it means you don’t have a strong personality or clear values to stand by. Basically, you’re changing who you are based on who you meet. As men, when your value goes up, you won’t want to deal with a lot of nonsense, and when you stop putting up with it, people might start to dislike or even hate you. No one dislikes someone who always says the right things; most people get hated for being honest.
This article isn’t about honesty, though—it’s about what makes someone disliked or hated. If you’re being annoying, putting in little effort to connect, or avoiding conversations, and people don’t like you, then the problem might be you. But if you know deep down that you’re being careful, reading body language, paying attention to facial expressions, and answering honestly without being too harsh, then you’re likely to be disliked. As you climb higher in success and status, you’ll attract different types of people.
Now, you have two choices: either be a people pleaser, always saying the right things and giving fake compliments, or stand apart. Most people won’t mind you if you do the first, but as you rise to the top, you’ll probably be disliked or hated, depending on where you live. If no one dislikes you, then you might be doing something wrong.
I suggest not using phrases like “you’re just a hater.” People who are secure with themselves don’t say that because they understand their own values and the world around them. If you know who you are, you won’t call someone a hater. You’ll attract all kinds of people. Think of bees—they go for nectar from flowers but sometimes have to deal with wasps. Bees could avoid wasps by not looking for nectar, but then they wouldn’t achieve anything. The wasps aren’t the problem; the bees are if they avoid their goal because of them.
Life is short. If you’re not being disliked or hated, you’re probably not doing something right.
If you’re interested in exploring this subject further, consider joining MJ’s upcoming events, where these topics will be discussed in detail.
We welcome your thoughts and feedback in the comments section below. For one-on-one coaching, feel free to contact Milad Emja
