Speaking the truth can be challenging, depending on where you live. If you’re constantly trying to say things that sound good while walking on eggshells, this approach will eventually backfire. Remember, in five years, no one will remember you, and you won’t make a significant impact on the world. What will matter is whether you were honest and truthful with yourself. This is the first stage of truth-telling.
Because English has its limitations, you can’t simply go outside and tell everyone exactly what you think about every situation all the time. Doing so will likely lead to many problems. Speaking the truth means understanding the environment you’re in and interacting with others honestly. Quality of life does not come from lying to others or lying to yourself.
Truth-telling needs to be defined a bit more clearly. English has its limitations, and it doesn’t mean going outside and expressing brutal honesty about everything you think. Especially for men, the goal is to release just enough truth to the person you’re interacting with. Most people aren’t ready to hear 100% of the truth right away.
A good analogy I use in my seminars is comparing this to adjusting the temperature in your car. Imagine you’re in your car with the heater or AC on. If it’s extremely cold outside, you turn the heater up to the maximum to warm up quickly. As the car warms up, you gradually reduce the heat to a comfortable level. Similarly, in real life, you should start by releasing a small amount of truth and gauge the reaction. If the person becomes argumentative or can’t handle it, you should ease off. If the environment allows, you can gradually increase the amount of truth you share.
For example, if you’re a man and you’re talking to an attractive woman who asks for your opinion on her outfit, instead of bluntly saying it looks unattractive or ugly, you could soften your response. You might say, “I don’t think this color suits you as well as another one might. Maybe a different style or size would be more flattering.” This approach is more considerate and allows you to share your thoughts without being overly harsh.
The key is to deliver your truth in a way that’s appropriate for the situation. Avoid being brutally honest by saying things like, “You’re ugly,” or “Your breath stinks.” If someone has bad breath and it makes you uncomfortable, you could gently suggest, “Have you thought about chewing gum? It might help with your breath.” Often, people will appreciate this kind of honest feedback when it’s given in a thoughtful manner.
Being truthful means being honest with yourself first. Men who are honest, especially with women, understand that in Western cultures, people often aren’t used to directness. However, choosing to stop being a people-pleaser and over-explaining can lead to better relationships and higher-quality interactions. If you’re aiming for a higher-value life, you can’t achieve it by lying to others or walking on eggshells. Truthfulness and authenticity are essential.
If you’re interested in exploring this subject further, consider joining MJ’s upcoming events, where these topics will be discussed in detail.
We welcome your thoughts and feedback in the comments section below. For one-on-one coaching, feel free to contact Milad Emjay.
