Innocence is one of those virtues indulged in children reared in excessively protective surroundings. Always protected at home, told to “be sweet” and “be good,” these kids are raised by parents who are fanatically keen to instill kindness, goodness, and innocence in them. This protective upbringing is great for a child of six months to two years, but the harsh reality of the world must intervene as they grow up.
This is where the balanced measures enter, usually from a good father figure or other mentor figure. Like at the buffet where you have a little bit of everything and don’t overdo it, children require a dose of reality at an early stage. While it is as important to teach a child how to be nice, too innocent an impression of the world will turn the child against real-life challenges.
People will carry their surroundings and the ethics they were brought up in, the result of where they come from. For a child in which everyone is painted as good, outside that bubble is dangerous. Predators will attack the weak in all groups, the same way wolves prey on gazelles. Here is a great metaphor for remembering: just as it is well for a child to be innocent and gentle, they must also be alert and prepared.
I understand in my prior remarks that the concept of a “kind beast”-an individual who is knowledgeable about the world but will defend himself if necessary-was something I could relate to. The bully or the manipulator has the soft target in mind in one who seems far too naiev and frequently masked by a smile. Kind but observant prepares your child to stand up for himself without being mean.
At school, the sweetest and kindest child is always chosen by the bullies. The child, without any rational sense of the world, will be frustrated and embittered in life as he or she wonders at people’s response to their niceness with cruelty. It can be prevented if a child is conditioned at a young age. Teach them, “Be kind to those who are kind to you, but stand your ground when someone goes against you.”.
There’s the psychological stance in children, which builds the character needed in toddlers. Not hardening them with travails with complete loss of innocence. Arm them with a balanced mind between love and ruggedness. The majority of overprotected children are able to mature, and more importantly those that can’t solve a problem and shift the helplessness to the parents are able to end up with an adult confused that why the world does not align with the bubble world in which they have matured.
It is not creating a callous or cynical adult to create this type of child. It is making him or her understand that the world is larger than the house and that not everyone is always as nice to them as their family is. There are dangers, and the parents do not always come between them and the harm. It is creating a nice, popular, and tough kid.
For instance, it is more helpful to a young girl to learn how to recognize warning signs in case someone of ill intent goes by later than to unwittingly follow someone. A child who is taught to recognize forced smiles and knows when to keep people at arm’s length will do better in life.
In summary, striking a balance between kindness and being realistic is most crucial in raising children ready for adulthood. It is not in raising weak and overly innocent adults but kind but strong, in knowing the world’s ailments and prepared to endure life in its entirety.
To know more about this topic and maybe contribute further discussions, look forward to attending MJ’s upcoming events where these issues will be thoroughly discussed.
We look forward to hearing your opinions and suggestions in the comments section below. For one-to-one coaching, please reach out to Milad Emjay
