Innocence is one of those qualities often nurtured in children raised in overly protective environments. Constantly kept safe at home, told to “be good” and “be sweet,” these children grow up with parents who are keen on instilling kindness, goodness, and innocence. This environment of constant nurturing is beautiful for a child around six months to two years old, but as they grow, a more realistic view of the world becomes necessary.
This is where a balanced approach is necessary, usually from a supportive father figure or another mentor. Similar to the buffet, in which you taste a bit of everything without overdoing it, children need a little dose of reality early on. While teaching a child to be kind is important, creating an overly innocent view of the world may leave them unprepared for real-life challenges.
People often internalize their surroundings and the values they grew up with, becoming products of that environment. For a child who grows up being told everyone is good, going outside that bubble can be hazardous. Predators tend to pick on the weak in any group, much like wolves hunting gazelles. This is a decent analogy to remember: just as it’s good for a child to be innocent and kind, they also need to be aware and prepared.
In my other articles, I talked about the concept of a “kind beast”-a person who understands the world yet is ready to defend themselves if an attack is imminent. A manipulator or bully can easily take advantage of someone who seems overly trusting, often hiding behind a smile. Teaching your child to balance kindness with awareness prepares them to defend themselves without being unkind.
In school settings, it’s often the most kind and innocent child who becomes a target for bullying. Without a realistic view of the world, this child may grow resentful and disillusioned, wondering why their kindness is met with unkindness. Preparing a child from an early age can prevent such disillusionment. Teach them, “Be kind to those who are kind to you, but stand firm when someone oversteps.
There comes the psychological behavior in children, which introduces the character necessary among young kids. That does not imply toughening them through adversities with complete removal of innocence. Instill a balanced perspective between love and firmness. Many overprotected kids could end up being adults, especially the ones who cannot steer across a problem and leave the helplessness onto their parents, have a grown-up child puzzled as to why the world is at odds with the sheltered version in which they were raised.
Raising a child with this balance doesn’t mean creating an unfeeling or jaded adult. It does mean helping him or her to understand that the world is greater than the home, and others are not all as kind to them as their family. There are dangers, and the parents won’t always be there to protect the children. It means building a child who is nice, popular, and tough.
For instance, a young girl would be better off being able to recognize warning signs if an adult were to approach her with bad intentions rather than innocently tag along. A child who has learned to see through fake smiles and recognizes when to keep people distant will be better equipped in life.
In summary, balancing kindness with an understanding of reality is crucial for raising children who are prepared for adulthood. The goal isn’t to create weak, overly innocent adults but rather individuals who are kind yet strong, aware of the world’s complexities, and ready to face life with resilience.
If you’re interested in exploring this subject further, consider joining MJ’s upcoming events, where these topics will be discussed in detail.
We welcome your thoughts and feedback in the comments section below. For one-on-one coaching, feel free to contact Milad Emjay
