As a man, you have to decide which side you want to be on: high tolerance, low value, or high value, low tolerance. As you gain more life experience, age, and wisdom, your value increases. It’s similar to progressing in martial arts—when you start training in karate, you advance through belts, eventually reaching the black belt. Interestingly, a black belt is usually less eager to fight than a white belt, and this concept applies to life as well.
You need to ask yourself: do you want to have high tolerance or low tolerance? As your value increases, your tolerance for certain things decreases. This applies to all aspects of life—jobs, relationships, business, and dealing with people who irritate you. The more you value yourself, the more you value your peace.
If you increase your value over time, your tolerance for nonsense will naturally decrease. But if you remain the same as you were at 19 when you’re 35, your value has not grown—you’re just older with the same worth. Think of it like buying a phone: if you bought a phone in 2010, would you pay the same price for it now, in 2025? Of course not. The value of that phone has depreciated over time, and so does the value of a person who doesn’t evolve. You have to constantly update yourself, not just through reading or research, but through real experiences. This will make you smarter, stronger, and more well-rounded, ultimately increasing your value.
However, when your value increases, your tolerance decreases. This is where true value lies. Unfortunately, society tends to place more emphasis on material possessions—expensive cars, phones, houses—things that are easier to obtain than the internal growth of a person. But a man who has spent his life working on himself, day in and day out, has built a value that no amount of money can replace.
In today’s world, we don’t always value people who have worked hard on themselves. It’s easy to criticize others and say, ‘This person does this’ or ‘That person does that.’ But instead of putting effort into criticizing others, focus that energy on yourself. If you spend 10% of your time criticizing others, spend 90% of it improving yourself. If you’re constantly competing with yourself, striving to create value without needing to boast, you will become a better version of yourself every day.
It’s like being a phone in 2030 when it’s still 2025—you’re always one step ahead, but that doesn’t mean you stop working on yourself. You need to continue improving to stay relevant. If you don’t, you’ll find that having high tolerance means you’re putting up with too much, and this will attract all the wrong things into your life.
To simplify, think about why you lock your doors or your car. It’s not that you don’t trust people, but because you value your privacy and possessions. If you have high tolerance, it’s like leaving your house or car unlocked—you’re allowing anything and everything to come in.
So, decide which side you want to be on. The journey of becoming a higher, better version of yourself is challenging and often a very lonely path, but it’s a path worth taking.”
If you’re interested in exploring this subject further, consider joining MJ’s upcoming events, where these topics will be discussed in detail.
We welcome your thoughts and feedback in the comments section below. For one-on-one coaching, feel free to contact Milad Emjay
