In any friendship or relationship, it’s crucial to understand our duties, positions, and responsibilities. Whether it’s with a romantic partner, family member, friend, or colleague, we all have a role to play. For instance, a father to a son, a son to a mother, an employee to a boss, or even among friends—each relationship comes with responsibilities.
Our primary responsibility in any relationship is to help solve each other’s problems and make life easier for one another. If this mutual effort is disrupted, it can lead to imbalance and strain. For example, if Mike is doing his best to remove Joe’s life problems, but Joe is adding problems to Mike’s life, this creates an imbalanced relationship that is unlikely to last.
Many people follow social constructs—right or wrong—and bring those behaviors into their relationships. In today’s tech-driven world, you might notice individuals who deliberately take a long time to respond, regardless of how close your relationship is with them. They may claim to be “busy,” but in reality, they are playing the “busy” role. Quick responses don’t mean someone has no life; it shows they value you as a friend and want you to trust and rely on them.
If a friend consistently takes days or weeks to reply, it’s not because they are truly busy—they’ve simply relegated you to a low priority. However, if you’re overly needy or clingy, they may distance themselves and seek more space. Finding a balance between need and space is essential for a healthy friendship.
If you are consistently a good friend—helpful and respectful of boundaries—but your friend still takes a long time to reply, it may be time to reconsider the friendship. This is just one example of how you might invest in someone who doesn’t reciprocate the same level of care or effort.
Quality people seek out other quality people. High-value individuals with experience and strong character have low tolerance for imbalanced relationships. Encountering someone with similar values and standards might be rare, which is why treating people differently based on their actions is important.
However, many people treat everyone with the same level of standard, which can cause valuable individuals to distance themselves from you. You attract what you are, and your friends reflect who you are.
In the workplace, for instance, if you have a short-tempered or negative boss or HR manager, it’s likely that the company will struggle to find and retain good employees. Before blaming others for issues, it’s important to look within and understand who we are.
Your ex, current romantic partner, boss, or job—these are all choices you’ve made. While you can’t choose your family, everyone else in your life is someone you’ve chosen. If you complain about how bad your ex was, people might listen, but ultimately, it reflects on your poor judgment.
Our responsibility is to remove problems and make others’ lives easier, but it’s also important to choose wisely. If you treat everyone with kindness, it’s possible you might be taken advantage of. Don’t help everyone; don’t be good to everyone. If you’re not appreciated, or if the same treatment is not reciprocated, it’s okay to step back.
This may sound harsh, but you don’t want to become the world’s doormat. This is where your judgment and character come into play.
If you’re interested in exploring this subject further, consider joining MJ’s upcoming events, where these topics will be discussed in detail.
We welcome your thoughts and feedback in the comments section below.
