WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT – Reader discretion is advised
Bullying is a prevalent issue, particularly with younger kids and teenagers. One of the reasons we should not only teach kids to “just be nice” is that, unfortunately, being overly nice can sometimes put a child at a disadvantage. The world tends to get angry with someone being harsh or strict, but sometimes it is needed. Not all tough, not all love — there has to be a balance. The world is full of both good and evil. When a child is only taught to be nice, good, and kind, they may become a target. There is nothing wrong with being kind, but kindness without boundaries can be mistaken for weakness — especially in environments outside the home.
Bullies often don’t pick on people with strong boundaries. Instead, they take out their frustrations on those they perceive as weaker. Kids who are overly kind or innocent are often seen as easy targets. Bullying doesn’t happen in a single day. It builds up over time. Some kids manage to escape it, but sadly, some don’t. If we teach a child to be nice, then we also need to teach him to stand up for himself-even to be mean sometimes. I know that may not sound very moral, but reality is: you need both. Many of us love to see videos of a bully getting a comeuppance. In the real world, though, that is not the end for most stories.
Young adults and children sometimes try to tell their parents or teachers what’s going on. But because of fear — fear of the bullying getting worse — they stay silent. And when they do speak up, sometimes they’re told things like:
“Do your best”
“Just ignore them”
“Be yourself”
“Who cares what they think?”
While these words sound supportive, they don’t offer real solutions. Victims don’t just want words; they want a system, real advice — anything to help them stop the bullying. Victims quickly realize that these phrases do nothing. In fact, trying them often makes the situation worse. Think of a jungle on fire. There are many ways to try to put the fire out. But sometimes, firefighters let the fire burn in a controlled area. When the fire reaches that burned space, it can’t spread any further.
That’s a great analogy for victims of bullying. Sometimes, the same energy needs to be matched — NOT with violence, but with strength. Bullying needs to be stopped early, at the very first stage. Schools must have a zero-tolerance policy. Sadly, many schools overlook bullying or dismiss it as “kids being kids.” That’s a dangerous mistake. If a child or teenager is given the tools to defend themselves — verbally or emotionally — bullying can be stopped.
Learning how to switch from being the innocent, sweet kid to someone who can stand up for themselves can make all the difference. This is why teaching kids to be overly nice is unrealistic. It increases their chances of being bullied.
How should someone act?
Not too nice, not too rude. Neutral is best. Remember, not everyone who smiles is your friend.
Don’t be nice to everyone just because they’re nice to you.
And don’t be rude to everyone either.
Teach your child to read situations. Teach them to have a low tolerance for bad behavior. Teach them that it’s okay to speak up and protect themselves. One day, your child will thank you for teaching them the difference between right and wrong, good and evil. No child or teenager should ever have to go through bullying so bad that they attempt suicide.
In 2012, Amanda Todd — a 15-year-old girl — One heartbreaking example is Amanda Todd, a 15-year-old girl who shared her story online in 2012. Sadly, she took her own life after repeated bullying. Stories like hers remind us why early action is so important. Amanda will always be remembered.
Rest in peace, Amanda Todd.
