Being argumentative is not a good quality. This needs to be explained a little because English has its limitations. When we talk about being argumentative, we’re not saying to agree with everything. This must be clearly mentioned: the problem lies in using the same strategy on everyone and exhausting the other party. In the West, it has become very common to argue. The issue with constant arguing is that it makes you unlikable if you use it as a strategy to argue all the time with everybody.
If you want to argue, there’s a place for it. A better term to use is “debate.” You don’t want to argue with everyone you see all the time, which is often a way for younger people to come across as smarter. They think that if they argue with everything you say and do, they will seem more intelligent. The idea is not to exhaust the other party because you want to come across as intelligent or smarter. The idea is for you to think your own thoughts. This means the argumentative mentality should be internal, questioning your environment and surroundings.
For example, if someone states that the moon is 150 million kilometers away, you might say the study is wrong and that the 150 million kilometers is based on an old estimate. What you have done is not provide a counterargument with statistics or numbers but simply state your opinion as correct. This behavior is common among millennials and younger adults. When this kind of behavior is applied to all topics with everyone, it makes you very unlikable.
An empty can make a lot of noise. An intelligent, wise person does not waste time arguing with everyone who questions them. This does not mean accepting everything you see, but rather coming up with follow-up questions in your own head. If you’re exhausting the other person’s resources and time by digging into questions just to prove you’re smarter, it will make you unlikable. Intelligent, wise people will not engage in this behavior.
This article emphasizes that being argumentative is not a good quality. You need to understand when to stay silent when to question, what questions to ask, how to have a debate, and when it is time to debate. Not everyone wants a counterargument. If you think your opinion is superior to every other topic, it means you come across as a smart-ass. It’s not a good quality; it means you’re like an empty can making a lot of noise. By constantly questioning everything you hear, you will come across as annoying, unintelligent, and unwise.
There’s a time to stay silent. Often, those who want to debate without any level of debate will take personal shots at you, such as criticizing your profile picture or the way you look, which has nothing to do with the topic. In such cases, stay silent because you have already won the argument. Silence is golden.
People who are argumentative are used to being in surroundings where debates are non-stop, thinking this means they’re intelligent and wise. In reality, this has the opposite effect. As you gain more experience and wisdom, you will humble yourself and reserve your resources instead of exhausting topics and situations. Being argumentative can lead to attacking the core ideas of others, rather than engaging in constructive dialogue.
Your goal should be to become likable. This quality can get you a job, a girlfriend or boyfriend, and a higher quality of life. If you don’t care about likability and prefer to be argumentative, you will find yourself in less desirable social environments. Reflect on yourself and ask if you like who you are. Would you want to be friends with yourself? Likability is not just about physical attributes but also about qualities such as reading body language, knowing when to talk, and minimizing arguments.
Memorizing information is easy with the internet, but it’s your experience and how you present yourself that matters in debates. The best recommendation is to minimize arguments, know when to talk and avoid questioning every single statement someone makes. This does not make you smarter. Hopefully, this was helpful. If you have any comments or questions, please feel free to ask.
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